A Day in the Life of Ellie Grace

4 a.m.-  Start to whimper softly due to seriously wet diaper.

4:07 a.m. -Escalate cry to let Mama know I'm serious.

4:10 a.m- Though diaper is changed, I figured since Mama was up she might as well feed me so I continue to cry; louder, in fact.  Just for emphasis.  And to wake Papa.  If I'm up, everyone should be as well.

5:00 a.m.- Finally exhausted of Mama's 80 renditions of show tunes and would like her to leave my room for a while.  Feign sleep so that she puts me down and goes away.

5:10 a.m.- I kinda miss her.  And now I'm bored.  Resume crying until someone comes to get me. Maybe I'll eat again.

7:00 a.m-  Wow.  Dropped the ball on that one.  Must have fallen asleep on Mama and she put me back in this thing with all the bars.  I'll wail bloody murder for a good hour to make up for it.  And poop myself.  Oh, wait. I know.  I'll poop myself, wait a good 10 minutes for it to soak through my diaper, my onesie and my sheets, and then I'll cry.  Yeah.  That'll keep her busy for a while.

10:00 a.m.- HELLOOOOOOO?!?!?!?!?! I'm hungry!!!!

10:30- ummmmm, hungry again.  I'm in a growth spurt, you know.  Ummm- that's gonna be a big diaper.  Think I'll keep it to myself and wait until she finds out.

12:00- For some reason, Mama thinks it's entertaining to lay me on my stomach and watch me scream because I can't lift my head yet.  I'll teach her.  I'll refuse to stay in the swing all day so that she has to carry me around.

1- This woman tires me out.  Always making faces and noises and kissing me.  If I go to sleep, she'll go away. Night.

3- It's freaking hot in here! My feet are cold! I'm starving! Do not put me in that thing that goes in the car! Pick me up! Pick me up now! I hate everything! Even you!

4- Mama anxiously looking at the clock and she takes me outside to sit on the steps.  That means Papa's coming home.  Good thing. Poor woman looks like she could use a nap.