As Easy as Riding a Bike

There are some things that everyone should be able to do.

Boil Water.

Tie your shoes.

Pump your own Gas.

Ride a Bike.

If someone can't perform one or some of the aforementioned list, it gives license to taunt them mercilessly- until they hunker down and learn these "innate" skills, that is.  But what if you've tried and failed? Can you just accept this inability as a fault and move on, or must you pursue failure after failure until you surreptitiously hire someone else to do it instead?

Some people grow up in states where it's illegal to get out of your car at gas stations. It stems from Northerners narcissistic  belief that everyone is out to get them, I'm sure, and are just waiting in gas station parking lots to rob them blind and take their ipods. If our family didn't spend summers in New England ever since I was born, I would never have had to learn.  It seems quite unfair to punish someone  for following the letter of the law.

Some people can't boil water.  Seriously.  Cooking is a gift and not everyone's got it.  That's what take-out was originally for.  Not for people who are lazy and believe french fries are their own food group, but for the benefit of the families of those, "can't boil water" people.  It was a revolution against starvation brought on by burnt toast and under-cooked chicken.  Who can argue with that?

I can't ride a bike.  I never really could.  Yes, I'm serious.  If you don't believe me, ask my sister-in-law who, just two years ago tested this statement by sticking me on her bicycle in her condo's parking lot.  The verdict was: two scratched knee caps, one smug, "I told you so" grin, four grown people laughing like children and two bottles of wine to recover.

Acceptance is key.  I know who I am and what I can do.  I can bake a souffle, I can sing in three languages, I can write kids stories, I can teach surly teenagers, I can flip an egg while holding a baby.  I can't ride a bike.  I'm ok with that.  I encourage you to make peace with the thing that you've really tried to do, but just can't.

Unless it's tying your shoes.

That's just ridiculous.