Canceled Birthdays, Instagram Therapy and Rice Bowls
Where I Discover I'm Not Enough, Decide Once and Meal Plan My Face Off
If I were inclined to believe such things, it would appear as though the term, “birthday party” was cursed, in relation to my littlest this year. She was sick for her first one in February which resulted in a heartbreaking cancelation. On the rescheduled date yesterday, we woke up to a smoker’s cough (her’s) and after testing (negative) decided to proceed with the plans until we watched in our party gear as a New Jersey winter storm, again, crushed her princess party dreams. Thankfully, her best friend was still able to come over and save the day, but still. It has been a lesson in disappointment that all parents must witness their child learn at some point, but always wish it wasn’t quite so sad.
I was lamenting to my friend yesterday about how my anxiety is triggered by my loved one’s suffering. (Needless to say, this weekend, though it had bright spots I’m thankful for, really sucked in the anxiety department). I told her that I used to have a therapist who instructed me to repeat certain affirmations when I was spiraling into an anxiety attack such as, “I am enough,” and, “I am safe”. They never worked. Because the truth is, I am very rarely if ever, worried about my own safety- only of those I love- and the mantra, “I am enough,” makes me feel as though I need to boot-strap my way through what I’m going through because clearly, I am enough to handle it. She stopped me in my tracks when she said,
“Jen- what if, instead of saying that, ‘I am enough,’ you say, ‘I am NOT enough- and that’s ok.”
Revelation.
She has a ton of them, so you should probably request to follow her here as she has some material about Hope that’ll change you.
This sentiment, “I am enough,” is beautiful at its core- and I don’t want to sway anyone who gets deep assurance from the phrase not to use it. It has its place- but it wasn’t working for me. This is why we need a community of family and friends and mental health professionals in our lives and not rely on Instagram therapy, K?
There is not enough of me to go around to Atlas the world.
There’s not enough for you, either.
Isn’t that such a relief?
Things That Saved My Life This Week:
I’m not a re-watcher of movies or TV that often, but I AM a re-reader.
My favorite thing to do recently is read a physical book, and then listen to it again on Audible. The first time, I highlight/take notes/pull out quotes to look at as I read. The second time, I get to listen for all of the things that really stood out to me that I want to implement. There’s something about hearing it read back to me that cements it firmly in my brain.
These are my current, “re-reads”:
The Lazy Genius, by Kendra Adachi (The Lazy Genius Kitchen is coming out in May and IM NOT SCREAMING YOU ARE).
We Should All Be Millionaires, by Rachel Rodgers (free on Kindle right now- GET IT!)
Try Softer, Aundi Kolber
What’s your reading process?
I’m forever searching for meals that the entire family will eat ( basically impossible) and, “rice bowls” are saving my life right now. I make a big batch of jasmine rice over the weekend, roast a ton of veg ( grill in the summer), pickle some carrots, cucumbers, onions and radishes ( use this recipe if you’re short time, which I always am) and let the people I’m responsible for feeding pick and choose what they want to add to their bowl. I will often roast some salmon to throw in there and top it with avocado, cilantro, lime, some soy sauce, roasted sesame oil and a teeny splash of fish sauce. Maybe some crushed peanuts and chili sauce if I’m feeling fancy. Or, you can delicately make sure your salmon never touches anything else and put butter on your rice like my kids do. You do.
I don’t generally watch comedy. I don’t find a lot of things funny, in truth; except this woman is hilarious and you need her in your life. But Taylor Tomlinson’s Netflix special had me rolling and I really needed to laugh this week.
Deciding Once is a Lazy Genius principle and Kendra Adachi is a genius. She’s the reason I wear jeans, a sweater, and my favorite yellow chucks every Monday. I used to scoff at the capsule wardrobe people in their beautifully curated feeds- now, I GET IT. I’m deciding everything once: including, the meal plan formula I’ve landed on that has literally been saving me. My problem with strict meal plans is that I LOVE variety in foods, I get bored easily, but I don’t always have the time or the energy for new things. The plan I’ve landed on allows all the flexibility I crave while still affording me the mental break I desperately need from the age-old question, “What’s for dinner?”
Now you really want to know what it is, don’t you. I don’t blame you. It’s that good. And because I love you, and all of the other parents/caretakers/busy people of the world who have yet to join us here, I decided to release my weekly meal plan, including my weekend prep with all of the juicy details, to:
EVERY new subscriber who signs up this week
Whoever shares the newsletter link on any social media platform you frequent the most. (Make sure you tag me in it so that I know!)
Alright, friends! May you enter this week looking for the things that give you life, loving your way through all uncertainties, and unafraid to eat your words. It helps when you make them delicious.