For the last few weeks, I have been running on empty. It was all I could do to get to nap time, and then I sat on the couch for an hour watching Madmen reruns and drinking a fourth or fifth cup of coffee. The house was dirty and needed to be cared for, but I could not find the will or the energy. The heavy weight of shame settled along my baseboards. I'm home all day, the least I can do is keep the house clean. When was the last time I actually made dinner, from scratch? How can someone be bored and overwhelmed at the same time? How many mothers yearn for the opportunity to stay home with their children? What was my problem?
I've always read Matthew 11 as an invitation to kick off my shoes, reach for the bag of Oreos and pop in the Hunger Games. "Come to me all who are weary, and I will give you rest."
God wants me to rest, right? Sure. Just not the way I have been doing it.
I suppose I always skipped over the first part of the verse. "Come to me...." I just assumed it was figurative; an esoteric term. I thought it simply meant to acknowledge God in prayer or something. Ok, I'm here! Let's watch some movies now. I overlooked the command completely.
COME.
This action requires a getting up, of sorts. God means business. He didn't say, when you have time, could you meander over a second? Or, how about I come to you and sit for a while?
It's pretty clear.
He wants me to get my butt off of the couch and approach Him. Come to Him. Get close to Him. Listen to Him. Talk to Him. Follow Him. Serve Him. Believe Him. Love Him. That sounds like a lot of work to me, and not a lot of rest at all.
The funny thing is, when you begin to do just that- spend time in silence listening to Him instead of reading the West Elm magazine, or use the hour of naptime to pray through those dishes that needed washing, you will find ( as I did today) that He will give you rest, different than you anticipated. It is a quiet in my heart. It has stopped the racing, the panic, the anxiety. He has given me the rest that I needed to serve Him better. I want to bless people today- with my words, with my hugs, with my money, with my time. It's the first time in a while I've not only thought of myself. That's quite a rest, indeed.
COME.
I came to Him today. Reluctantly at first. It had been so long. Unbelieving, at times. But He is faithful to see his promises through. I look forward to more rest of a different order- the kind that comes from knowing and believing that I am a daughter of the King who has called me by name to COME.
Thanks to my friend, Noelle who's words both spoken and written always provide a deeper insight. Read her blog here: