>Around this time in one's pregnancy (Helllllloooooooo week 31, we're getting closer!), the most common topic of chatter amongst the women surrounding you is the big D-day.
Delivery.
People love to share their horror stories, philosophies, beliefs and opinions concerning the matter. I have sat through an in-depth description of a 36 hour labor resulting in 50 stitches that not even a sitz bath with the healing powers of the Jordan River could soothe- by a complete stranger. Thanks, lady. That's so encouraging. I've listened attentively and interested to the outline of a difficult, but rewardingly natural home birth surrounded by family and friends. I've nodded appreciatively when a woman told me that a c-section was the best decision of her life because it saved her son- and to another, who believed it was the most unnecessary, horrific experience she's ever had. I was told sex was so much better/worse after delivery, that I will lose the weight quickly if only I breastfed or ate nothing but strawberries and yogurt or meditated an hour a day. Or that I had better get used to the love handles because they'll never go away unless I make an appointment with a plastic surgeon- would I like his number, by the way? That I will never sleep again. Ever.
And after all of that unsolicited (but genuine and well-meaning) information, their testimonies are always followed by the question,
"And, what's your birth plan?"
Then, I calmly take a deep breath, smile, and explain. I don't have one.
No, I'm not crazy. I'm not naive- well, being a first time mom you certainly can't help a bit of naivety since it's an experience I've never had before, but I am not uninformed, I should say. Rich and I have experienced much in the last year, in which God has taught us lessons in epic proportions- the most important one being, we are not in control. Losing a baby and gaining a baby all in the same year makes it very clear that in the long run, my "plan" doesn't really matter. I can be as prepared as possible, of course, and I can have preferences- but as for a plan? Not me. I don't do that anymore.
The truth is, this child is a gift. Not one that I had planned at all. Which leads me to believe, that God really does know and plan the best after all. Why mess with that?
Would I like to be able to have a safe, short, natural birth? Yes. Am I planning on it? No. Ultimately, the only elements I want present on the day of Ellie's arrival is the calm, peace, and joy that come from knowing that I have a God who has everything under control. How she enters the world much like how she was conceived, is entirely up to Him.