Dear Dr. Ferber, Dr. Sears, and all other Supposed Sleep Experts

All of your methods are crap.  I've comforted my kid.  I've brought her into bed with us.  I've let her cry it out in her crib.  For weeks. Weeks.  I've patted her on the back.  Gone into her room in adding 5 minute intervals.  Sang her songs. Prayed on my knees. She is not hot.  Not cold.  Not sick.  Not teething. She is still obstinately refusing to sleep.  I've been Baby-Wised, Baby-Whispered and Happiest Baby on the Blocked.  I hate you all for the false promises and hope.  I would write more, but my kid is currently gagging in her crib from crying.  Thanks for all of your help.

Sincerely,

Disgruntled, Exhausted, Frustrated Mother of one, 6 month old insomniac.