When my folks were still together, they had a set of friends who were like family to them. Since they considered them family, when my sister and I came along, we did the same. We had Uncle Greg and Aunt Janie, Uncle Steve and Aunt Sharon, Aunt Brenda and Uncle Charlie, Uncle Ricky and Aunt Willie and a countless other "aunts" and "uncles" who were by no means related to us through blood, but we never questioned their status or place in our lives. They were family. We ate together, laughed together, went to the beach together- they were there for the most joyous of occasions and the most difficult ones. What I hadn't realized as a child was something quite remarkable- my parents modeled an accurate example of how God calls us to live- with each other. They didn't always all agree, and some perhaps are not as close as they were when I was a kid, but their examples, their lives are burned into my memory of how I have grown up to be believe community to be.
Having a family of my own now, I am astounded at the "family" God has surrounded us with. People who are "Aunts" and "Uncles" to Ellie, not through our bloodline, but through something different. A connection and deep desire to live life together, walk together, support each other, love one another, pray for each other, serve each other, stand when the other cannot, speak when there are no words. These bonds aren't severed by distance, trials, disagreements or misunderstandings. Mine and Rich's relationship with one another has been greatly impacted by our adopted family. Ellie's life has been shaped by our friends who love her, nurture her and speak God's truth into her simply by a kind gesture, a hug or an afternoon together.
What strikes me today is how deep the memory line goes for me. I was just a child. Under ten. But yet, I remember- every outing, every birthday party, every BBQ, every movie night with freshly popped popcorn. Every embrace, every truth, every kindness imparted to me by one of my parent's friends has shaped me, molded me and STAYED with me to remind me of how we are called to love each other. How we were never meant to go it alone. And that, the people I choose to love as family will shape my child with lasting memories that have the potential to follow her for the rest of her life. To shape how she views community and the love of her Creator. Wow. That's serious.
If you don't have children but are close to people who do, don't underestimate the significant part you play in their lives. Your kind smiles, your ice cream cones, your Cinderella tea sets might be emblazoned on her heart forever the way that my folk's friend's examples shaped my life, and thus, my parenting.
If you are anyone's "family", you have an important job to do, whether you know it or not.