Flour and Butter, Embracing the Wanting and Procrastination
The welcome to October.
We had a family conversation about procrastination on a short road trip to a birthday party this week. The general consensus was that most people have a natural bent toward procrastination.
Except for me.
After everyone in the car mumbled in agreement that procrastination was a demon they wrestled with daily, I couldn’t help but wonder how they lived with the anxiety of a looming to-do list yet to be done. It sounded awful.
“I couldn’t live like that,” I mused aloud.
And the answer was simple and profound.
“That’s because you have OCD, and issues about achievement and productivity.”
And I tried to think of a time when I actually accomplished all of the things on my to-do list. (never). The reason is because as soon as something is finished, I add two more. Because if there is time to, “get ahead,” and I do not use it, that is lazy. And laziness is unacceptable.
This narrative has served me a grand total of zero times. Zero. It has only perpetuated my anxiety, inspired a litany of health concerns and forged the kind of exhaustion that I never fully recover from.
What do we call someone who continues to do the same thing over and over again, expecting different results?
Yeah, that.
What do you do when your work demands a certain commitment to hustle in order to turn a profit- but hustle culture is also enemy number 1 of your peace?
All thoughts and suggestions, as always, are welcomed.
And now, to what I love, what’s giving life back into my body and what I’ve, “noticed” this week.
I talked a little bit about bodies, how we view them and how we heal them on the ‘gram this week. If you missed it, here it is:
I do not hide the fact that while my heritage is decent conglomeration of sorts, my Dutch and Scottish roots are the most prominent in my features, my connections and my culinary preferences. This is the time of year that I buy extra flour and butter at every grocery visit in anticipation of shortbread and scone baking season. It’s my favorite. If you missed my own shortbread recipe last year, here it is again:
Since I became a freelance copywriter/strategist full time in May, my laptop has become an extension of my body. Not in a healthy way, necessarily. It was so helpful to listen to Emily P. Freeman’s take on a Maker versus a Manager’s schedule on her podcast this week. If this is you, it might help you, too.
Because I work online- like the rest of the world- I need to more cognizant of leaving it. I’m resuming my rotating reading schedule. Here is what I read, and when: https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cd9Gj61pzUb/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
I’ve been ruminating on what it means to, “want”. To have desire. For things that aren’t basic needs. It’s been hard for me. I wrote about it a bit here:
Every year at the start of October, my kids being their Christmas lists. While the idea of crafting a list for Christmas feels way too much to begin my reconciliation of wanting, I will being to share 1-3 things a week that I’ve had my eye on in order to embrace the humanness of wanting more fully.
It’s a true joy to call you friends. To grow in this space, together. To watch how you shift and change and grow, and eat your words when the evolution calls for it. Cheers to making it as delicious as we can.