>Lost in Transition

>I have grown to hate this word. Transition. It's the word that people use when they can't put their finger on what the hell's going on. "Oh, we're just in transition right now." It seems to harken something temporal, something that is not meant to last long- that there is an end in sight in which, eventually, we will all know exactly where we need to be, what will transpire, etc. Pardon me, but I have come to find, this thought process is just a human comfort mechanism and holds no merit or credence.

Mine and my husband's living situation has been transitional the last few months. We have had 3 addresses in less than 7 months. I have not used my own towels. I have forgotten which sweater was the one that I loved to wear on the first snow. I have not held my own coffee mug, not read my own book, not polished my own silverware. We've been in transition.

We have just celebrated our fourth anniversary. Gone are the days when people giggle at our newlywed status. The term "just starting out" has waltzed right past us, leaving us stranded on the dance floor, susceptible to unscrupulous questions more personal than whether or not we are taking time to "enjoy each other". "When are you having children?" flies out like darts, from others, from ourselves. We are in transition.

We are attempting to purchase a home, settling in the least likely of places- a place we had sworn to never return. We are trying to reconcile what it means to purchase a home, to stake claim in something more permanent, to invest. Does this mean that our fly-by-the-seat- of- our pants days are over? By choosing to stay here, are we closing doors to bigger adventures that could possibly lead us outside of the home we never thought we'd return to? Are we no longer the whimsical, free-spirited ones evading ties and obligations in order to learn what it actually means to enjoy life abundantly? Transition.

We have both been in the same occupations for several years now. Occupations we would not have chosen, but are grateful for, for the income and opportunities they have afforded us. We are left asking ourselves, "Is this enough for us?" Is this what we want to teach our children? What else can we do now to change it, if we'd like? Transition.

I hate this word. Not because of what it is, but because of how it's used and the connotation it portrays. Is not our life, here, on this earth, Transitional? Won't we always be transitioning from one stage to the other? from one place to another? From one mind set to another? What if there is no end in sight, but transition is, in fact, the result? Will we ever, truly, know what is going to happen in the future? And once we attain what we're after, how will we ever know if we'll transition again?

It's not the destination, it's the journey, so they say. Let's embrace transition for what it truly is, and not what we'd like it to be.