Modern Family
What families look like and how they operate have come a long way. Socially and culturally we've followed the trends of stay-at-home Mothers, to working Mothers, to stay-at-home Fathers, to both parents working outside the home. When Rich and I first talked about having a family, it was implied that one of us would assume the daily responsibility of care-taker, for a plethora of reasons. We each had specific memories of how our Mothers cared for us while they were home and how special ( and embarrassed, on occasion, which we also deemed important ) it made us feel. ( Any of you reading this who happened to be in my elementary school would do well to remember my Mother's elaborate Halloween costumes that always upstaged my own- Elvis, anyone?). Secondly, we wanted to make travel a part of our family's fabric. We wanted our kids to love it and to do it well, which would mean one of us would have to be terribly flexible with scheduling in order to make it a priority. Thirdly, but not lastly by any means, we wanted to stand firm on the fact that our little family comes first, before anything else- before money, title, position, station. That was a value we wanted to instill, and in order to do that, we have to model it ourselves.
What we didn't anticipate even a few years ago when the baby discussion was still in it's early stages, was that leading the life we wanted wouldn't be so outlandish or abnormal. In fact, it is, quite simply, the modern family.
Most of our friends work from home. I realize that not everyone can say that. It just happens to be true for us. They are writers, artists, musicians, architects, teachers, web and graphic designers, pastors, on-line business owners, photographers. Yes, there are occasions that call them to leave their kitchen table office for a meeting, but for the most part, they make their living when they make their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. And play dress-up with their six year old on their lunch break. They all made this decision for a variety of reasons, but it all boils down to quality of life and the belief that it's more important to be present with the people you care about the most. It is possible to make a living and be present at home all at the same time. In fact, in some instances, it's more lucrative. ( Do you have any idea how much day-care costs in Northern New Jersey?!?! You'd throw-up).
The Modern Family, I'm learning, has no formula to follow. It's not just the Mom who stays home, the Dad who cuts the lawn. We get to define things ourselves. (Well, I don't cut the lawn, so perhaps that hasn't changed very much for us). I was just blessed with an opportunity to earn a part-time income from home so I can be with my kid. Rich stays in his job (that we're grateful for, just to clarify) so that he can be home by 4. Eventually, we hope to both be home at least part-time so that our kids can get the best of both worlds - I can't teach them to throw a fast ball and Rich can't demonstrate how to bake a loaf of bread.
Will we ever be rich? Not very likely. Famous? Probably not. But I'm grateful to be able to raise a family in the way we believe is right along with others who believe the same.