Plowshares, Mulligatawny Soup, Inner Children and the Enneagram 3
I went to a writer’s retreat this past weekend where we were led in an exercise to dialogue with our inner child and write down what her message might be to us.
Which sounded beautiful and connecting in theory, except when the time came for me to open the door to find her, I fled in the opposite direction. I didn’t want to know what she looked like. What she was waiting for. What message she might have for me.
I didn’t want to know her at all.
And it haunted me all week long.
It didn’t REALLY land with me until listening to this episode of The Next Right Thing with Emily P. Freeman where she interviewed the enneagram expert, Suzanne Stabile. If you’re unsure about what the enneagram is, you can find a quick overview here.
I’m an enneagram 3, which is considered an aggressive personality. I’ve always resented that description. I’m also an Aries and have actively lived in denial of my own self-characterized traits, but that’s for another time.
Toward the end of the hour-long podcast, Suzanne mentions that 3’s tend to compartmentalize feelings in order to, “return to them later”. They find feelings to be really messy, and they interrupt the flow of reaching their goals. But few ever do return to them.
I can attest to that, as my inner child still sits somewhere, locked behind a door.
I’m still unsure where to go from here ( aside from the obvious therapy necessary to uncover some things ) but I will be forever grateful for how the workshop put the key in the door I’ve long avoided; but is still home nonetheless.
And now…
Weekly Sustenance
This song has quite literally ripped me wide open. I’ve listened to it every single morning.
I found the reference to Libby DeLana’s book, “Do/Walk” from this episode :
I’ve been reading it this week and have wrapped my cold self up and gotten on the trail directly because of it. It’s been a beautiful nudge to get outside.
My sister and I texted obsessively this week about a restaurant we used to go to constantly that only served soups, sandwiches, quiches, and cakes called the Stock Pot in Montclair, NJ. We’re now fantasizing about picking up its mantle and commercializing my kitchen to produce the kind of nourishment we’ve been desperately missing. We’re testing this Mulligatawny soup this week to see how it compares.
Have you been to Missy’s Main Street Cafe in Rockaway, NJ? NO? WHY NOT????? I want to live there. If you go- get the Yas, Queen, Yas. There’s no other option.
The writer’s workshop I attended was run by two, indomitable women at this beautiful space. You can find them and the other juicy stuff they’re doing here:
IMPORTANT: Be on the lookout for a bonus newsletter this week, coming out on Saturday. I’ve got something important to say in regard to some things concerning faith and women and to offer. Hope to see you then!
I’m not sure I can express how much I love to know that you show up to meet me here. I hope you find something that gives you peace, makes you think, and helps you figure out what to make for dinner. I’m often stowed away in a cafe or in my little office for hours preparing my next offering.
If there is a time when you’d like to offer support by way of reaching out, please feel free to message me here!
If you’d like to buy me a coffee to fuel my musings, you can do so here:
Wanna fuel my musings by supporting my caffeine habit? Buy me a coffee, here.