Proverbs 31:10-11 : The Heart of the Matter
An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. 11The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.
Ellie and I have a new habit. After Papa leaves for work, we go downstairs in our pj's and right outside to have coffee on our patio. Well, she doesn't have coffee- although the way she stares longingly at my cup makes me wonder. It's pretty amazing to see that my daughter loves being outside. I watch her as she stares at the birds flying from branch to branch. She smiles at all our flowers and plays happily on my lap as I squeeze in some time to soak in the sun and get some prayer and study in before the day officially begins. After sharing with you my hesitance as an adolescent to study this passage, I decided to take it slowly and really ask the Lord to speak to me about how he wants me to read it.
I only got so far as the first sentence before I had to stop. I'm offended. What do you mean it's hard to find an excellent wife? I think I do alright, thanks very much. And then, redemption. Ah-ha. I like the part about being far more precious than jewels. And then, the kicker: "The heart of her husband trusts in her". Whoa. Stop right there.
Rich and I have been together for a little over 8 years now. When you've been together for a while and big life things happen, like, oh, getting married and buying a house and raising a child, you form a natural rhythm about your life together. This is both good and bad. You never have to think too much about things, because they become second nature. I don't have to ask Rich what he wants at the grocery store- it's always yogurt and apples and good coffee. He doesn't have to ask me where I want to go on vacation. There is an ease and a comfort in these little things that we know about one another.
The trouble lies where we think we know everything about the other, so we stop asking our spouses altogether. This one verse hung me up this morning, "The heart of her husband trusts in her". In order for trust to occur, you must know the thing that needs the trust, and know it deeply. I had to stop and think for a moment. How well do I know my husband's heart? How often has it even occurred to me to get to know it? As it is now? Hearts are fickle, we know that from history and literature and experience. They change all the time. How well do I know Rich's heart today? When was the last time I even asked? The last verse of the day pulled it all together for me: "And he will have no lack of gain".
He will have no lack of gain, if I know his heart and his heart, in turn, trusts me. Yikes. Am I preventing him from gain by not engaging his heart? When husbands gain, the family gains. Am I preventing the gain of my family by not actively pursuing my husband's heart?
Sigh. I knew I was going to hate this study. In a good way.
I am thankful for a wonderful husband, who is strong leader, provider and great Father.
This week I'm going to strive to know his heart better than I do now