Quieting

An Embodied Reframe in a Frantic Life

Is your inbox chock-full of new year plans to, “optimize your health/morning routine?” Is your Instagram feed full of red light therapy suggestions, cold water plunges, and bullet journals? How about those plant-based environmentalists who come out swinging in January about farm-raised salmon?

Maybe, like me, you need to learn a little bit about, “Quieting”.

Before I go any further let me be clear:

• I believe in working smarter, not harder, and optimization’s root goal is to perpetuate that.

• I have harbored a secret desire to jump in Lake Winnipesaukee in April when the ice just begins to recede from the shoreline since childhood and I will probably do it one day.

• I uphold that wild-caught salmon is light-years better for the environment and for our bodies than farmed- as is a (mainly) plant-based diet.

But sometimes those things can feel like another thing added to the “noise”.

My brain and body operate in volumes. Libraries are quiet. Amusement parks are loud. One guess where I’m more comfortable. Social media has felt a little too “loud” for me these days. My inbox, when I logged on, “felt loud”. Notifications, much too loud. Even my weekly cooking menu all of a sudden felt too loud.

The one area in my life where “loud” is not only tolerated but greatly appreciated and encouraged is in music, where it belongs.

So, I began a practice in this new year where I asked myself to identify the things that felt “too loud” in my life right now and began to figure out how to quiet them. Here is what “Quieting” looks like right now:

• I turned all notifications off on my phone- and deleted my-gasp- work email from my phone.

• I activated my phone’s limit features and have everything shut off at 9:30 pm with no access until the following morning at 7.

• I have severely limited my social media presence for now, my scrolling and interactions, yes, but also my content development. It began to feel like another “job”- and since my agent shopping is on hold, I don’t have the bandwidth for another job right now. It’s been so quieting not to feel the constant pressure of having to produce- and it’s allowed me to show up in other ways I didn’t have the energy for before.

• Having a puppy is a huge adjustment, and you’re basically at her bidding when she’s potty training. Now that Juno’s over a year old, I’ve been able to “quiet” the habit of watching her for signs and take her out on a schedule- which also greatly helps me to get outside 3-4 times a day for 15 minutes at a clip: another thing that helps “quiet” my mind.

• I love to cook, and meal planning/prepping is generally an enjoyable activity. Until I broke my hand in September and it’s been tricky to navigate around limited mobility. All of a sudden, meal planning felt like twice the work- because it actually called for twice the energy. So, I quieted our menu for this season. Simple grains, simple proteins, greens and fruit (the best quality I can afford), and a baked good here and there if it’s one bowl and I can throw it together one-handed. My picky children hope this sticks, haha. I’m still plodding along with OT and hoping my finger will one day extend enough to hold the hilt of a knife for longer than a few minutes.

• I wait to respond. To anything. This is REALLY hard. But I’m waiting now to return texts, phone calls, emails. Letting it breathe, making it quiet, and then responding. “Your urgency is not my emergency” is something I don’t embody yet. But I’d like to.

• My current inbox has 3467,000 emails in it. My goal is to eliminate them all by my birthday.

• I started creating a space in my bedroom for some, “quieting” practices like yoga and reading. My office used to be that space, but since my work has kicked up I needed a space outside of the “work” space to quiet.

• This whole time I had thought that it was a kindness to myself since I work from home to wear yoga pants and sweats every day. The truth is, I just don’t feel like myself if I’m not dressed. I’ve instituted pretty basic uniforms I wear every day ( a favorite sweater, a pair of jeans, a red lip) and it quiets my mind to know that I feel like the human I’d like to present to the world.

• As an avid reader, my Amazon cart has always been full of books. But this year, I’ve committed to borrow from the library, or simply, read what I have. It’s quieted the need to be up on, “the next, new thing”.

• This might sound ridiculous, but, I’ve only recently started ordering groceries for pickup. Since our intake is now streamlined and I’m not experimenting quite so much in the kitchen, I don’t feel the need to enter the store myself and “get inspired”. It’s quieted my days and has actually saved money since I’m not impulse buying.

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People are going to have a lot of thoughts about how to live your best life. The thing is, they’re not you. Change always means growth- don’t be afraid to eat your words about something you previously subscribed to, that just isn’t working in this season for you anymore.

The thing about “quieting” means you always get to quiet everyone else’s voices. No other voices, no other votes. You get to decide.

And whatever it is- make it delicious.