I know it's cool to be busy. It makes everyone think how important you are. I also know that I live in the side of the country where being busy is not just a reality, it's a necessity. To like, you know, afford to buy milk. And bread. And maybe the property taxes. But for the last few weeks I've been taking note of how many books on living slower, simpler and more intentionally are flashing on folks' kindles on the subway. If even New Yorkers are starting to feel the sting of harried commutes and packed schedules, it's time to reevaluate.
I wish I could just use the typical, Christian fallback excuse of what an empathetic soul I am, and that I just can't say no to people or else I'll feel guilty and blah. That's just not the case. I say yes a lot, because the things I'm saying yes to, I REALLY want to do. Some people are gifted from birth with one or shining gifts that they master over their lifetime- they know exactly what they're good at, where they're going and what God wants them to do with their lives. Me? I feel like God hit me with a bunch of colored sprinkles of interest and a modicum of talent in each one, which makes it impossible to figure out where to invest my time and effort. Writing? Music? Teaching? Food? Ministry? Let's see how many I can have my fingers in before they all fall off from exhaustion.
So, here I am, this week, finger-less. In theory. My hands got too tired from being in five different places at once and some things just had to go. Not without pain, serious deliberation, and grieving the loss, but that didn't change what needed to happen in order for me to regain some sense of balance. I had to let go of a lot of things this week that gave my heart joy- but I know it's not the time in my life to carry them right now. I have a young daughter. I have a marriage going on ten years that's worth all the investment I can put into it. I live in the tri-state area, most likely for the rest of my life. I was called here, placed here in one of the most expensive parts of the country which means we've had to be creative in order to preserve our time and energy, and money. So, how do you live intentionally in New Jersey? Less busy? Is that even possible? We've done a few things that have made baby steps toward the life we want, even here.
We turned almost half of our backyard into a vegetable garden to grow our own food. This requires that we are present to care for it, but it also gives back ten fold over the summer months when funds are low. Our daughter adores watering and planting and harvesting and we find it a great activity we can invest in, all together.
We live communally. We have a big house, with a lot of bedrooms. It's hard to make the mortgage. It's hard to buy dinner sometimes, truth be told. So we opened up our home to folks who needed a soft place to land for a while. It helps us financially a bit, and we feel like we are using the gift of this house to glorify the one who gave it to us.
My husband's job is terrible, but the hours are great. He sacrifices 6-8 hours a day so that he can be home by 4 p.m. EVERY EVENING. I know what a gift this is.
I'm self-employed which means, I make my own hours. This got a little crazy as I'm an insane work-a-holic apparently, but this week I re-evaluated my schedule to place things more in-line with the needs of our family. I cut my commute to NYC to only one day a week this coming summer and next fall and took a part time position in the morning hours during which my kiddo will be in school. This means I'll be home in the evenings with my family for dinner and bath time- the time I was sorely missing. I had to back away from an opportunity for music that I have enjoyed being a part of the last two years, but it's not the time in my life for it right now. It made me sad but it was necessary.
Lastly, you all know how much I adore meal planning and elaborate recipes. I've had to encourage myself to pursue simpler preparations during the week so I'm not spending all of this new found time in the kitchen....away from my family. It is completely possible to make dishes/snacks that satisfy, that don't take four hours to make. Like this socca recipe we used this week:
Socca is delicious and fun to make, and we modify the seasoning to our taste. Though socca is traditionally French, we've been a little obsessed with Ottolenghi's Jerusalem lately and I couldn't help but add an 1/8 of a tsp of za'atar to the batter. Serve it along side a nice cucumber and tomato salad with a cooling yogurt dressing, and it's an instant summer time meal.
We have a long way to go, but I think it's a good start. How do you do it? What have you done to slow down your life and still pay the bills? I'd especially love to hear from those on this side of the country so we can form some solidarity :)