I taught literature for over a decade which means I know my way around character development, plot mountains, unreliable narrators, points of view, and a Bildungsroman (or seven). This means I can spot a supporting character when I see one.
I just didn’t realize I was one until recently.
I am Meg March with her tempered expectations, eldest daughter composure and small life. I’m Ms. Maudie Atkinson, full of anecdotes and cultural observations and delight in the natural world but not enough acclaim to make it in the books of best characters (though damned if I didn’t carry all of Chapter Five in To Kill A Mockingbird). I’m Diana to the braver, more trusting Ann(e)’s of the world. Dare I say ( with reservation and loathing, as I am not really a DC fan), I have been the Robin to every Batman.
I have enough color to be interesting, enough wisdom to have a featured line or two, and enough intrigue to keep just on the periphery; but the story isn’t mine, because the trajectory is dictated by everyone (and everything) else.
Or, so I’ve thought.
Some of it is how I’ve been trained and taught to be the support. The yes girl. The one who fills in the gaps and stops the leaks. The hidden infrastructure beneath the megachurch. The fulfiller of silent needs. The HELPMEET.
Some of it is the belief that I was never really good enough to be the leading lady. But I don’t want you to get it twisted.
I elect supporting character energy as a default; assuming other’s wants/needs/desires/agendas are more important than mine. But I never really wanted that to be my story. In fact, while I assumed Meg March energy, I’ve always, always been the Jo in the attic writing the next screenplay. The female assassin and not the supporting lover. In my truest heart of hearts, I’ve always been Ann(e). I mean, Diana is vapid and boring.
So I’ve begun asking myself questions I used to ask a classroom full of teenagers, except- this is my real life and not part of the canon. And I came to one, starling conclusion:
I can’t tell a good story with my own life unless I’m the lead.
What questions did I ask myself?
What changes am I going to make to start living like I’m the lead character in my own life?
I’m so glad you asked… stay tuned for Part 2, for all paid subscribers.
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