Ten, Two-Word Affirmations That Saved Me in 2024

And How I Will Use Them in the New Year

Margaret Atwood says that words have power, and I tend to believe everything that comes out of her pen. While my entire life has revolved around words, 2024 has been an interesting year for me in that regard.

My day job became a bit more demanding, which didn’t leave much room for words outside of the workday. I struggled to read or write for leisure after I had been doing so all day professionally. It would have felt like a loss if I had had the time to grieve it. Instead, I leaned into a more simplified approach.

I hope 2025 sees a return to longer-form contemplative and recreational reading and writing. But for now, these are the short, two-word phrases that buoyed me this past year (some, for years prior to that). So much so, that I’m taking them with me. I’ll give you the list, detail how I used them, and what they meant to me.

1. Decide Once

2. Take Five

3. Do Less

4. Pay Attention

5. Let Them

6. Rest Well

7. Choose Brave

8. Allow Joy

9. Reflect Weekly

10. Celebrate Everything

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Decide Once

I’ve been a Lazy Genius advocate since its creator, Kendra Adachi, chose to share her genius with the outside world. Her motto, “Be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don’t,” gave me such permission the first time I read it, I CRIED. You mean, I don’t have to be a genius at EVERYTHING?????.

I’ve read all three of her books: The Lazy Genius Way, The Lazy Genius Kitchen, and her most recent, The Plan the same way my kid devours a Taylor Ham, Egg and Cheese after a soccer game. (Yes, I said Taylor Ham. Now you know where I live.). It is RARE to read about time management by a female who knows about hormones, motherhood and all the other things we juggle on a daily basis. She has a depth of wisdom I can’t cover here so I will tell you the most helpful principle I’ve taken from her to date is the idea of deciding once.

Decision fatigue is REALLLLL for Mamas. We’re thrown a million in an hour sometimes. Leaning into some choices that can be put on auto-pilot doesn’t solve the over-stimulated, over-scheduled, overly-stressed pace in the lives of young families, but it DOES help to catch one’s breath. Here are a few of my “Decide Once’s” that have saved the day time and again.

1. We roast a chicken on Sundays.

   Sunday night is family dinner night. We roast a chicken. End of story. Sometimes, we change up the seasoning. Most of the time, it’s a medium sized roaster stuffed with onions, garlic, lemons, and thyme and rubbed down with half butter and olive oil. We let it roast until the legs are spread eagle in the dripping fat and serve with mashed potatoes and string beans. This leaves me with bone broth for the week, some meat left for soup or chicken salad, and one less meal to plan later on. (The leftover mash is used for Shepherd’s Pie or potato leek soup- all crowd pleasers.)

2. We have a “Backup Meal”.

   It’s salmon, rice, and a vegetable. There is always rice in the pantry, always salmon in the freezer ( you do not have to thaw salmon before roasting, just add on 5 minutes or so). When it’s 4:47 and I get a Teams message with something like this: “Hey, I know it’s late….but can you hop on a call for a minute?” I know it’s salmon and rice for dinner. Everyone eats it, I feel good about not serving them a drive-thru, and I don’t have to watch the clock on a call.

3. Birthday Gifts

   Our kids give a book and a gift card to all of their friends for their birthdays. I buy a few giftcards a month to various places and some versatile ones like Target, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and throw them in a shoebox in the closet. When the friend’s birthday rolls around- they pick out a comic or a coloring book, an activity book or a chapter book that personalizes things and add the giftcard. This has saved me from those last-minute wrapping sessions in the Tumblezone parking lot. We also only use brown craft paper for all holidays and special occasions wrapping.

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Take Five

Not everyone is lucky enough to work for a company whose main mission is: To offer every adult the inspiration, knowledge, and skills to self-regulate and create healthy relationships for generations. Conscious Discipline’s creator, Dr. Becky Bailey, often talks about, “the pause” as a way to regulate that has quite literally changed the way I respond to every situation- stressful or not. Here’s a very rudimentary summary of what it is:

In a stressful situation, to shift from an autopilot response to a conscious choice (from fear to love), we need to move from the lower center of our brains to the highest by: taking deep breathes and deciding that we can choose the way we see and respond to the world.

I’ve internalized this into, “Take Five” literally meaning to take five minutes to sit in where I am, to breathe, and then choose where I’m going. Situations in which this practice has saved me:

1. When my children are ill, it is an anxiety trigger for me. I immediately feel ill myself. In extreme cases, I fall apart, I am not helpful or stable for them to depend on. Take Five has enabled me to center myself, focus on breathing deeply to soothe my nervous system, and realize that I can choose how to respond. This often means repeating to myself these things: We are so lucky to have health insurance, an award winning hospital is nearby, I know the signs to look for if they get worse, I know how to nourish a body that is unwell, etc. I have been able to show up more fully present than ever before when I realized how powerful my own brain was.

2. When I have been caught in a cycle of over-work and I can’t shut off, I activate the Take Five. Does this email need to be responded to right this minute? Is this project due today? Is this something that actually needs to be done by me? Can I ask for help?

Never underestimate the power of your own brain, body and breath. I never will again.

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Do Less

Kate Northrup writes about money and the relationship women have with it in the most beautifully integrated way. But it was her book entitled the same, “Do Less” that has stayed with me for years. Much like not realizing I didn’t have to be a genius at everything…I didn’t know you could opt to do less….and that it would actually SERVE you in the long run!

My mantra is “MORE”. I will work harder. Boxer is my spirit animal, the Puritans my lineage. I do not know how to do less. But damn, I am trying and the results have been fascinating.

Examples:

1. No Longer the Alarm

   My kids are older now and have full command of their appendages. They know how to set an alarm but I had still been waking them up, and <GASP> bringing them breakfast in bed sometimes when they’re running behind. Now, granted, I do think kids need grace and help sometimes, but I wasn’t getting a single moment to brush my hair or teeth or a cup of coffee. I have taught each of them how to set their alarms, make their lunches the night before, lay out their clothes on the days they have a zero period extra-curricular. I will be ready to drive them to school at exactly xyz time- and if they are late, they will miss a class they love and have to take the bus. We’ve only missed once- but I am proud to say I’ve brushed my teeth every morning after a cup of coffee all year.

2. Is This MY Job?

   This little phrase has helped me do less, and because of that, do more. Whether at work or staring at the pairs of shoes lining the stairs at home “Do Less” often looks like re-evaluating what is really my responsibility and what isn’t.

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Pay Attention

“Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it,”- Mary Oliver

I have a window birdfeeder on the window right above my kitchen sink. In the mornings, it has become the joy of my life to watch who is coming for breakfast. Paying attention to the littlest of creatures has had an enormous impact on my well-being. It’s carried over into real life where when my children are trying to tell me the same story for the 80th time, I look into their eyes, I align my body to face them, and I don’t move until they’re done. I’m more delighted than I thought possible, and they feel my attention as love and care. Paying attention has changed everything.

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Let Them

Speaking of game-changers, Mel Robbins for the win. Her newest book, “The Let Them Theory” shouldn’t have been mindblowing, but whoa, was it. How this simple concept has played out in practical ways in my own life:

1. Instead of fighting with my youngest about dressing like an elf every day for the entire month of December….I let her. It was so freeing, and no fights were had over clothing in the morning.

2. I no longer over-explain: If people want to question or judge my choices, let them. Did you even know that was an option?

3. Whenever anyone is suffering, I want to absorb every single pain in their body into my own. But letting them go through what they’re going through is better for them in the long run- they only need me to be present, and maybe make some soup.

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   Rest Well

   I have always thought resting meant laying in bed with the lights off, emptying one’s mind of anything and everything. While this is true sometimes, it has NEVER worked for me.

   Resting well for me means a drive to a favorite coffee shop, hunting for the perfect sour dough loaf, reading a few pages of a fantasy novel, going to a show or museum, sitting at the piano for an hour or cooking a new recipe. Sometimes I need to sleep- but mainly, these are how I feel the “reset” button activated. I’m learning not to see these resting needs as frivolous but as necessary- the way that rest is necessary for a healthy existence.

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Choose Brave

As someone with clinical anxiety, I know that it’s not always an option to choose brave. But there are times I can. In my Take Five moments, I decide if choosing brave is something I can access- when it isn’t, I know it’s time to call for backup. Sometimes simply asking myself if I am in a position to choose brave is empowering enough to pull me out.

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Allow Joy

Did you know that some people actually stop joy off at the pass because they’re afraid it’s appearance means disaster is right behind? (Slow hand raise). I’ve been challenging this belief, and will continue to do so. Good things do NOT mean bad things will follow. There will be good, there will be bad- there is no formula, and they are not contingent on the other. The best we can do is to allow joy in, whenever we can.

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Reflect Weekly

I am a planner, a goal-setter, a resolution writer. I am NOT a good reflecter. I’d rather move forward than backward, but it took some time to realize how critical it was to review where I’ve been in order to get to where I want to go. I reflect weekly now (often on Sundays when the chicken is in the oven) on several things:

1. How did I care for myself last week? What can I put on the schedule for myself this week?

2. How did I manage my time between family and work? Where can I do better this week?

3. Did I let myself off the hook this week or beat myself up? How can I practice the former?

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Celebrate Everything

This is my proudest accomplishment, truly. We have always celebrated well. Holidays, birthdays, weddings, graduations, promotions, new homes are the big ones, sure, but the magic is in the celebrations of others: like, on Tuesdays- let’s make CAKE! On Fridays, let’s celebrate we survived. Let’s make margaritas in January to celebrate 5 months to summer. Let’s have cookies in the yard for the kids for the first day of school! Let’s buy out all the gummy bears on the day your braces come off. Let’s get ice cream on the first day of winter and hot chocolate on the first day of summer just to remember how fleeting everything is!

Celebrating everything has created inroads to allowing joy- like when you can’t isolate just one muscle to hone- the others reap the benefits, too.

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I wish I had the bandwidth to memorize verses of wisdom ( that’s a new goal for 2025 I can’t wait to tell you about) but until then, these two-word affirmations or directives or whatever you want to call them have been so instrumental in how I survived 2024, and how I am choosing brave in 2025.

I hope they help you, too.

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As I continue to create content in this space for the new year, I am so exceedingly grateful for those who choose to join me here. I do not require a paid subscription to access any of my work- my own life has been changed dramatically by writers who did the same. If you choose in the new year to support me financially via this platform, know that it is because of you that I can continue the work it takes to bring something of value to those who may need it most. I hope to continue to do so for as long as possible. The generosity of humans continues to make it a possibility.