The Magic of Ordinary People

Or-What Will Save Us

I am an extroverted introvert. Allow me to explain.

I love people. I will quite literally talk to anyone. I will ask too much. I will tell too much. I will invite you to dinner. I may not even know your last name. I will make you laugh or try until you walk away.

Being with people fills my cup, grounds me, and reminds me why we’re all here on this god-forsaken-planet.

Also.

If I am “on” for too long- if I am with people without a break- I will absolutely lose my shit. For every hour, I need an equal amount or more of recovery time. It’s just the way it’s always been.

Up until now, I believed it would be easier to just avoid social situations, because I do not have that kind of recovery time.

I no longer believe this is the correct option. Not now.

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Remember a few years ago when everyone was obsessed with the Blue Zones? We all lamented about how we don’t have space to grow gardens, disposable income for a summer home in Sardinia or ( at the very least) a kitchen overhaul to support a Mediterranean diet and missed the point completely. The people who lived the longest lived out their daily lives with OTHERS.

They ate lunch with others. Walked to the piazza for a glass of wine with friends. They woke every morning at the same time to walk the few blocks to their elderly neighbor’s house to share a cup of coffee. They cared for their grandchildren and great-grandchildren. They made soup for sick loved ones and hand-delivered it.

I am not downplaying the role of nourishing food, fresh air, and a daily walk. What I AM saying Is: That. Ain’t. It.

It’s US.

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30% of Americans reported feelings of loneliness at least once a week in 2024. The Surgeon General declared a mental health crisis among working parents in 2024- the demographic that can be the loneliest, in my opinion. (Have you ever really looked at the faces of the parents in the pick-up line? Buried in their phones, buns awry, hiding Homer Simpson pajamas- or is that just me?) Loneliness and social isolation have profound physical effects. According to the CDC, both can cause:

• Heart disease and stroke.

• Type 2 diabetes.

• Depression and anxiety.

• Suicidality and self-harm.

• Dementia.

• Earlier death.

HARD. PASS.

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But we have the cure. We ARE the cure. Socialization can actually improve your sleep patterns, reduce stress, increase your activity level and improve your immune function.

Playing in an adult’s sport league can improve confidence, agility and foster a sense of belonging. Singing in a choir? Group singing is scientifically proven to increase activity in the medial prefrontal cortex, a brain structure with strong connections with the limbic system. It triggers the release of endorphins, oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin—hormones associated with feelings of pleasure, trust and connection. Sharing a meal is sacred. Recipes can be liturgies passed down from generation to generation. Real hands touch real hands as we pass baskets back and forth. Never let anyone ask you how many grams of protein are on your plate ever again- it matters more for your mental AND physical health who you’re sharing it with.

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This year more than years prior, we may be tempted to isolate and disengage. There may be arenas where you will need to do so. (I’ve made significant strides toward the elimination of my own social media accounts for this very reason).

But don’t stop meeting people for lunch.

Or coffee.

Or a drink after work.

Don’t stop going to the library for storytime. Or yoga. Or to learn how to embroider. (Libraries are magic, too.)

Don’t stop telling the woman in front of you in line at Shoprite that her boots are awesome.

Don’t allow the headlines and the propaganda and the noise to convince you that we’re all the enemy and that it’s safer to hide.

Don’t miss an opportunity to listen and learn from someone who thinks differently than you.

We are the cure.

We are the magic.

The magic of ordinary people.

It’s time we use it.