The Next Step

As a Mom of an active three year old, I've been saying, "It'll get easier" every year.  The first year of sleepless nights.  The second year of sleepless nights and beginning a new job.  The third year of incessant questions and the why and the energy and the tantrums and the discipline and the second guessing and the foul word coming out of your little's mouth because you stubbed your toe that morning and it may or may not have slipped out and now she has something new she'd like to teach everyone in the long line at Shoprite.  Every year, there is a continuous, anxious stream of consciousness-

Is she breathing?

Is she hungry?

Why is she crying?

Do I get her outside enough?

Were those carrots organic?

Where did she get that cup from?

Is she sick?

Did she kiss that kid with the snot running down her face?

Am I acting in grace or anger?

Do I pray enough about discipline?

Do I discipline her appropriately?

Do I say no more than I say yes?

Do I ignore her to pursue my own goals?

Will I regret this?

Is she getting enough stimulation?

Is she learning?

Should she go to school now, or wait?

Public or private?

Can we afford it?

Will she hate me?????????

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.  No wonder I need a bath and a glass of wine every night.  This parenting thing never gets easier, much as I'd like to perpetuate the lie.  And it always seems like there's a barrage of social media Mamas who've got it all down.  Oh, look at my 365 days of healthy lunches I pack for my child every morning with a darling note inside while I darn socks and knit them new sweaters that they would actually wear.  I'm not knocking them, truly.  I think that's incredible.  I just have to remind myself that I am not them, that Ellie is not their child, and how we do things is exactly what needs doing for our family.

We're entering into a new season of kid-dom at our house.  El's not a baby anymore.  She'd like to be a ballerina or a farmer when she grows up, when I tell her she can't have ice cream before dinner she tells me, "That's a-fortunate", she loves playing with her friends and suddenly, I find myself with a little more time.  Thanks for sticking with us through our transitions, and here's to a year full of different material.