The Parent Trap
Fridays, Ellie and I have a routine. We go to Little Gym at 9:15 and play with her friends there, learn new skills, pop bubbles and sing like maniacs. Then, it's off to Panera Bread for the Mac and Cheese for the kiddo, a 5th cup of coffee for me (all that dancing and singing really does a number on me) and a walk to Petco to see the fish-ies before nap time. I love Fridays. It's like I get to be her playmate for a day instead of her Mama. Not today.
After sitting down at our usual table with our food, a kindly gentleman was staring at Ellie. ( I mean, she's adorable, so we get that a lot:) El, apparently, has decided that she doesn't like to be looked at, shot him an angry look, and methodically delivered, slowly and painfully for emphasis:
"What you lookin at?"
I was mortified.
Where did she even hear that phrase?
And thus began the spiral that, as a new parent, I'm way too familiar with.
Do other kids behave this way? My friend's kids are never rude. Are they smarter than she is? Are they being parented better? Am I teaching her appropriately? Do I suck as a parent? Is she getting enough discipline? Enough grace? How much grace is too much?
Comparison, after comparison, after comparison runs through my head as she, seemingly unbothered by my mental anguish, continues to munch on her m&m cookie.
I have made more parenting mistakes that I care to count, or admit. I am the furthest thing from a perfect parent. On more than one occasion, you can find dirty laundry on my floor, Ellie has most certainly sang cuss words in public, her socks rarely ever match, I can't figure out the best way to organize her closet so I just don't go in there and pretend she doesn't have one.
I'm still learning the art of discipline. Still learning what advice to take to heart, and what to throw out. i'm still learning how to feed her something other than pasta and chicken for dinner.
But, I was fearfully and wonderfully made. Which means, so was she. It doesn't do to compare us to anyone else, when we were ALL fearfully and wonderfully made, does it? Each kid is wonderful in their own, unique little way. It would do THEM good for us to remember that, when the chatter around us makes us question benchmarks or progressions. Your kid is wonderful- and made specifically not to be like anyone else. So were you.
I'm holding on to that the next time my kiddo decides to cop a teenage attitude with a complete stranger.
Like, tomorrow.
Or, when she wakes up from her nap.