The Weary World in the Week Between
What Now?
Much like so many families across the globe, our Christmas didn’t go as planned, and rather than have to cycle through the emotions of disappointment, fear, and a sense of loss it felt more like, “of course this is how 2021 will end.”
I’m a realist not a fatalist and while the difference may not be noticeable to some, there is a very clear line between seeing what is and predicting the doom that may come. I’m fairly certain our nation, our media, and the culture that has been perpetuated by the growing polarization of our country are no longer able to tell the difference, either. And that feels dark and hard and all of the things that I’m pretty sure we’re all tired of talking about on top of recovering from illnesses, facing changes in employment, and raising children in a landscape where certainties like school and programs and childcare are no longer so certain.
So, what now?
What do we do with this week of in-between in the world as it is now; post-Christmas and pre-new year when some of us have, “down-time” and canceled plans and fears of the future but we feel a bit paralyzed with how to proceed, right here, right now?
I’m not in the business of telling you what to do, for sure. And I’m a big believer that what works for me, may not work for you and that’s ok. (The Lazy Genius is my guru for that.) I lived too long believing I had cornered the market on how to do all the things and I have enough words of mine to eat to last a lifetime. What I will tell you is how I’m counting down the days until 2022 shows up looking like a brightly wrapped package but feeling like a re-run.
The Week Between
The tendency when you’re, “off” is to relax some routines. And I think that’s lovely- for the first few days. But for me, I’ve found that while a looser schedule is a luxury, no schedule at all is anxiety-inducing. I have a morning cut-off time that’s much more generous than on other days, but still provides me the routine this anxiety/OCD Mama really needs for my health. I have coffee, finish my shower, and am dressed by 9:30; even if I have nowhere to go but from my kitchen to the couch.
I picked a non-fiction book to read that is both beautiful and non-committal. No directives, no lists, no habits to change. Something simple and lovely and inspiring. Something that feels good and true in my bones. Something about humanity and loving one’s neighbor and filled with goodness. Shannan Martin has been an author I’ve followed for a while on social media, and her book, “The Ministry of Ordinary Places” has been that for me this week.
Speaking of social media- I left it for a while. It felt good and right. I will return after the new year- but my existence on it will be different going forward, and that also feels good and healthy and right. I’m taking this week to redefine my relationship with how I show up publically and it’s been a hard and humbling thing- it is also how this newsletter was born!
I get outside for 20 minutes. Even if it’s only for a few seconds. And sometimes, if I’m feeling really ungrounded- I go out in bare feet in the cold and see how long I can stand it before coming back in. It reminds me to breathe.
I watch something ridiculous just for the fun of it. The Matrix 4 did not disappoint in either the fun or the ridiculous category.
I cook something cozy that makes the entire house smell as though you should never leave it, even if you could. This is on the menu this week.
I’m a terrible, “play-er” with my kids, in all honesty. But this is the week I invest in play with each of them. Learning wizard chess with my big girl by candlelight sounds right up my alley.
I’ve chosen a word or a phrase every year for the last decade in order to cling to during the new year. I’m not sure if it’s because my life as a writer has taken on more projects this past year, or because I’m finalizing a book proposal, or just because my brain might be, “worded-out” somehow, but I’ve decided that selecting a word for 2022 is just not going to do. I can’t wait to tell you what I’ve decided to do instead in the next newsletter.
Friends, there are not many things inside of our control these days, but you get to choose how you show up in this weary world. You get to decide what you let in, and what you see to the door. You get to take with you what works and discard what doesn’t. You get to shut it off or turn it on- you get to invite in or close your doors for a while. You get to live your life on your terms and you get to change your mind over and over again as you grow.
I’m wishing you all the goodness that comes in the form of good food, good company, good care, and lots of love this week.
Love to learn.