>Vacation Shmation

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Ahhh....summer vacation.  I've dreamt of this week often as I was answering questions, okaying kids to go to the bathroom, coming home smelling like pencil shavings and cafeteria goo.  It was like a fairy-tale that just got better over time.  I imagined  sitting out in the yard with a book and a glass of something tropical.  Waking to the sound of silence and having leisurely breakfasts at my favorite hole-in-the-wall diner.  Writing fervently, spinning stories of talking doves and pre-pubescent lightening bugs while sipping lattes in Starbucks.  Practicing the guitar until my finger-tips develop callouses my husband would be proud of.  Singing in the shower, on the side-walk, in the mall-to anyone who would listen, really.  So, after all of these lovely visions, should I tell you what I actually HAVE been doing the last two days?

I've cleaned the bathroom.  Twice.  I've taken out the garbage.  Twice. I've woken up at exactly 6:00, and not gone back to bed.  I've checked the mail eighty times even though I know our mail-lady likes to take her time and doesn't generally show until 2 in the afternoon.  I am continuously checking my e-mail in case I've missed something.  I've stressed at least 3 times a day already about how we're possibly going to make it through the summer without working, though I've garnished my pay-check for the last 5 months to secure the decision. Spurred by the financial stress, I've budgeting the up and coming year.  On several spreadsheets. Color-coded and organized by month. I've put all of my vacation days on the 2009 calendar.  

Lets face facts.  I am a worker.  And for some reason, in my warped little mind, if I am doing something I enjoy it cannot possibly be as important as doing work.  Or, work cannot possibly be something I enjoy.  So,  I have been wandering aimlessly the last two days feeling terribly guilty about not having to get up and go somewhere that I hate, where I would proceed to just wish that I was back at home.  Make sense? Of course not.  I seldom do.

So, this is my want-ad if you will.  If you are well-versed in leisure, have a PhD in vacation, have learned how to live life without guilt, or are doing something you absolutely love for "Work" I desperately need your assistance.  Help a sister in need.  I need some insight...and a fruity cocktail, perhaps.