The Mothers

Female Authors Who Have a Profound Impact on My Everyday Life

I have a stack of books in my bedroom.

Most of my bedroom has stacks of books, actually. On the built-in shelves, piled on my bedside table, tripping hazards all over the floor. But this one, solitary, teetering stack is different.

It sits, mostly in the dark, shrouded in the tattered bottoms of my curtains in a circle of dust- but the books themselves are never dusty; however old and broken they may be.

Because they are The Mothers- and are referred to too often to show signs of neglect.

This stack of “The Mothers” are works written by women who have had an indirect or direct impact in the way I live and approach life every day. Their words are the ones I run back to in times of joy, need, grief, or solidarity. In short, I would not be who I am without their influence. I thought it only fair to share it with you.

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The following is a list of The Mothers, and the works that take up residence in my room and in my heart. There are many other works they have each written that are worth looking into- these are just the ones that belong to my own journey.

1. Mary Oliver- Devotions

   Wild Geese is my favorite poem of all time. So much so, I’ve committed it to memory. I return to Devotions again and again because it breeds just that: a devotion to the natural work, and to the human one.

2. Shauna Niequist- Bread and Wine: A Love Letter to Live Around the Table with Recipes

   Shauna and I have always seemed to live parallel lives. While, admittedly, I haven’t loved all of her works- this one’s pages are torn and splattered with dressing and sauces from YEARS of cooking the same recipes that gave her comfort during her own transitions and losses. It’s nourishment body AND soul- the only kind I subscribe to anymore.

3. Andrea Gibson- You Better Be Lightning

   If there is anyone who can stop the spiraling thoughts and “woe is me” narratives, it’s Andrea. I dare you to pick up this book and not smile and cry in the same hiccup- and then go out in the world and see everyone differently.

4. Robin Wall Kimmerer- Braiding Sweetgrass

   Have you ever stopped to wonder why the earth gives such good gifts to us without expecting anything in return? I’ll never stop thinking about it now thanks to Kimmerer’s half poetic, half scientific account of the gift economy and the relationship we can have with the earth- if only we choose to see it.

5. Elizabeth Gilbert- Big Magic

   I too often get stuck in a creativity cycle of creating for the needs of the masses, or creating for myself. Big Magic always tips the scales in my direction, and I am grateful for it each and every time. (Gilbert’s fictional novels are also stunning.)

6. Anne Lamott- Bird by Bird

   Classics are classics for a reason, yes? Anne’s straightforward approach to writing has been my saving grace on days I am stuck in trying to get it right, instead of trying to get it on the page.

7. Julie Cameron- The Artist’s Way

   If you’ve ever been advised as a writer to spend time writing some in, “Morning Pages” you have Julie Cameron to thank. Julie gives artists permission to be themselves and to invest time in their craft. It’s not a “hobby” or an “indulgence” or an “extra” to Julie- which means, it doesn’t have to be to you, either.

8. Kate DiCamillo- The Magician’s Elephant

   I know as writers we’re supposed to be our own person. But whenever anyone asks who I would love to emulate as a writer, it’s now and forever Kate DiCamillo. Kate has a deep respect for the depths of how children can process grief and loss and love. Every time I read one of her works (which is all the time, since she’s still writing) I wish I had had her as a resource myself as a child. The beauty of her language, her way of revealing a character’s heart without having to tell you- Kate is the mother of magic.

9. Wintering-The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times

   I live in the northeast where it seems downright Narnian for most of the year (always winter, never Christmas). The cold has never been something I struggled with- but the dark? The dark has been an enemy I had yet to conquer- until I was able to see it differently, thanks to Katherine May’s book.

10. This last space I leave open, as it rotates. I have friends who are beautiful writers who have books out in the world ( follow Mom of Big’s newest Substack to get updates!) and some whose books are forthcoming (are you subscribed to Lauren’s The Rest of Us Substack? You should be.) There are writers who have mothered me through their words here: (Kendall Lamb’s Touching the Elephant has been a safe harbor for me). And this list keeps growing.

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    Which female authors would make your “The Mothers” stack?

    Tell me all about them in the comments- make recommendations and link them.